It's tough out there.  When you are in your early 20s, you often leap without looking.  Maybe we need to be that stupid to get involved and married.  ;)

www.SavvySingleChristian.blogspot.com

Catch the Christian Schadenfreude

I like how you describe the difference between being marriage-minded and being desperate/on the hunt. 

Sometimes I think the only thing that will prevent me from becoming an Old Maid spinster is that I'm not much of a cat person...I may end up with a pack of dogs, but somehow that doesn't seem as miserable and bitter!

--Liz 

I blog about creating a life worth living at:  www.inventingmylife.blogspot.com

I really like when you said:

"...being marriage-minded doesn't mean you're on the hunt. Heck, I may never get married. I'm not psychic, so I don't know."

You're absolutely right. Being marriage-minded doesn't mean you're marriage-obsessed, or that you'd settle for the wrong person just because you want to get married.

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

...before they get married. I have seen too many people want to get married because they think it will solve whatever problem they have. I think those are the ones who are "on the hunt". Those are also the kinds of marriage that break up the quickest, because it isn't another person who is going to fix what is wrong with yourself, only you can do that. Marriage is hard enough without having to burden the other person with a responsibility to fix your issues! You are right about being true to yourself first and then being open to what comes along.

http://ConscientiousConfusion.blogspot.com

And your healthy attitude to marriage. 

I know a few people who are in their mid/ late thirties. Some of them are definitely on the hunt, while others feel like you. Those that are on the hunt - I worry about them settling down with the wrong person.

Vered DeLeeuw

http://momgrind.com/

When I was 16, I decided that I would never get married. This was because I was certain that no man would ever let me be me or treat me equally. I figured a lifetime of temporary partnerships and flings were my best plan. Fast forward another 16 years, and here I am: happily married for eight years already, not one fling under my belt! I love your attitude. Who really knows what will happen?

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

I'm glad I didn't get married when I was younger. I think it is rare when people find each other when they are young and it really works out ok.

There's nothing wrong with being picky about who you want to marry either!

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My blog would be tickled pink if it had more friends like you visiting it: Ideas For Women blog :)
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Your attitude is the best.  Life is good, why screw it up with a marriage based on desperation, or societal pressure, or some other outside force?

Christine

http://froginnorthgeorgia.com/

I fully recognise things look far different pre-marriage than they do post-marriage, but...

After 27.5 years in a relationship, 23 years 11 months of marriage, it is a status thing with a contractual element few are willing to contemplate going in. 

What matters is commitment. Love, Caring. Sharing. Room to grow individually. Trust. Respect. Honesty. Confidence. Communication. Being yourself.

All of this can be had without marriage. Many have this without marriage. I have learned more looking back on our marriage than I probably learned in the marriage.

So many worry about being alone, etc... but that is a lousy reason to be in a relationship. Tackle that issue by gaining confidence elsewhere. In the end, being strong on the way into a relationship greatly increases the chances of its success.  

nelle

&

llhaesa

Anne

I agree that it's not marriage, the institution, that's important apart from the external connotations, but the relationship and what the two individuals concerned bring to it.  I have been married twice, and often wonder whether I would do it again, given the opportunity.  I recently came to the conclusion that I probably would, mainly because it implies a public commitment, and if you're religious, a commitment before God.  For me, it says to the world, I am willing to commit myself and my life to the happiness and welfare of this other person for as long as ... well in my case if it lasts a while it could be death, but normally I wouldn't presume that!  And I think that's a reason to marry, and a reason to celebrate and have a beautiful ceremony if that's what you want.  Forget spending buckets of money though on ridiculous extravaganzas, I think that's madness because then the emphasis moves to the wedding, not the marriage.  The wedding is one day of fantasy, whereas marriage is years of total reality.  Rather than spending up a storm on dresses, cakes, receptions, flowers, etc. maybe the happy couple would be better off investing in some good solid relationship counselling or at least some real personal self-reflection before taking the big step.

I do hope that I get to experience making and living that commitment with another human being in my life.

I'm so glad it made sense to you all, marriage-minded vs. marriage-obsessed.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

I agree that marriage shouldn't be a goal on its own, but I know that fear will always trump love for the commitment-phobe. I've been there. I loved living with boyfriends, but legal attachment scared the bejeezus out of me.

Every man I lived with was sure that I secretly wanted marriage, and ignored my statements to the contrary. Every man was wrong.

There are plenty of marriage-minded people out there. If you eventually want marriage, make sure your partner does too. Fear of commitment is a hard habit to break. Don't waste time hoping he'll change. Odds are, he won't. 

( http://www.halflifecrisis.com )