I haven’t been posting much lately because I just haven’t been in a good mood when it comes to my weight this month. I have only lost 3 pounds so far in November, which just isn’t up to par. Lately my motivation has really been floundering when it comes to weight, and I’ve really started to feel like just throwing in the towel and letting things coast for awhile.

So, in that vein, today I decided to blow off my workout and instead return the sweater my sister gave me for my birthday that didn’t fit quite right. I have had an aversion to actual shopping for a long time now and I’ve been doing ALL of my shopping online. I even buy groceries online, seriously, I just hate stores. Aside from grocery shopping, which I’ve always disliked, my shopping aversion is definitely weight related. I hate getting all dressed up (I refuse to go in public wearing sweats and without some makeup unless I’m going to the gym because I don’t want to look like a slob) to go to a store where people will see me and inevitably see my weight. Not to mention that clothes shopping has been miserable for at least a year now, and also on and off for most of my life depending on my weight. I hated that I would see something cute and want to wear it, only to discover the buttons are all being pulled when I try on the largest size the store carries. It’s emotionally draining and depressing.

Today, however, I went shopping for clothes and I actually had a great time. I’m shocked. So THIS is that retail therapy people talk about… huh. I haven’t enjoyed shopping or left a store feeling good in years. I went to the store my sister bought my birthday sweater from with pretty low expectations. I had looked at everything online and honestly, most of the clothes didn’t even look all that great on the models to me. The sweater was from New York & Company, and I’m not sure if you’re familiar with that place, but it seems like they want their clothes to be very urban, edgy, and sexy, so the way they pair things on the models pretty much never appeals to me. Yes, I live in an urban area, but I don’t have much desire to look edgy or sexy in my everyday clothes. At the store today though, they had a lot of the clothes paired on the mannequins in a way that I’d actually wear them, so I was intrigued.

I grabbed several large cardigan sweaters and collared shirts to go under them. Then I saw this black vest paired with a red button up shirt underneath. It’s more trendy than what I normally wear, but I wanted to try it. Just my luck, the largest shirt was a size 12 (the size of the wedding dress that has been haunting me since July, coincidentally) and the largest vest in the color I liked was a size 10. Against my better judgment I picked the shirts up anyway and figured I’d give them a whirl, if for no other reason then to help me determine what size I’d actually need before I scoured the store like a 16 year old who lost a contact lens during cheerleading practice combs through the grass on the football field looking for the size I guessed would fit. Much to my shock, everything I tried fit, and some of the things were bordering on being too big, particularly the belts I picked up were all several inches too big, which is the most shocking part for me since they were labeled “large.” Even that size 10 vest fit me!

Now I can’t wait to go and change my clothes into one of the new awesome shirts I got! Today I’m actually wearing what I’ve been considering my favorite shirt for the past couple months, but now compared to the new shirts I got, I feel like this one sucks. I consider that to be great though. I can’t be the only person out there who has 2 or 3 things that they feel good in, and a closet full of clothes that they sort of dread wearing, but have to wear anyway because there’s just nothing else and you can’t wear the same 3 shirts every day, can I? That’s how I pretty much always am and always have been. One of my goals for the longest time has been to have 10 different outfits that I feel great in so that getting dressed could be fun and leave me feeling good in the morning, but it’s not something I’ve ever achieved. I have also always wanted a versatile wardrobe, you know, like the ones they describe on TV and say “yes, this jacked it expensive, but you can wear it so many ways and it will always be in fashion.”? I feel like the things I got today kind of fit that description though. Every shirt I got I can wear at least 2 ways, which means that in effect, I have at least 7 or 8 different looks from the items I bought.

Anyway, that’s my story for today. I didn’t think shopping could be more important or valuable than working out, but I think it was today. I was mentally gearing up to go to McDonald’s after my workout today out of my body misery, but now I feel renewed in a sense. I no longer wear the largest size in the store… a store that is NOT a plus size store and doesn’t have a plus size department. That feels good. Of course I guess this means that I’m back to plan A, which means I’ll be having a smart ones “calzone” (that thing is NOT a real calzone, but whatever) for lunch. Oh well… at least I’m going to look fashionable for both of my Thanksgiving celebrations this weekend, that’s worth eating a fake calzone for.