Project Runway Recap: The Top 13 are starting to become distinguishable characters to me
by Elisa Camahort

I'm starting to get the hang of this seasons contestants, and last night's episode went a long way toward solidying them in my mind, how about you? Except for the two who are totally indistinguishable from one another.

For example:

Joe is this year's straight guy, straight, dammit!! And like many of the other straight guys from other seasons (I'm talking to you Kevin) he has no personal style whatsoever.

Blayne so very much wants to be a Christian (as in Siriano, not the religion) but he's really just the creepy kid down the street. And why, WHY is no one mentioning skin cancer and premature aging. OK, references to his tanning addiction and "tanorexia" are clever, but seriously people!

Although "Suede loves hip hop", I believe the producers finally woke up like the rest of us to realize the fact that Suede's use of third person was designed solely to get him air time, and so this week he got none. Suede was sad.

Kenley mistakes her rather mundane obsession with Bettie Page for having true vision, and she has an annoying laugh.

Daniel is confused and whiny. But you be bummed too if your snuggle-bunny was eliminated after only 2 weeks. (I think they should eliminate Daniel too and send him off into the sunset with Wesley...it would make them happy, and put us out of Daniel's misery.)

Stella is like a female, fashion designer Joey Ramone. And really likes leathah!

Korto has a Chloe Dao-like childhood story of danger, escape and reinvention in the U.S.

Terri likes to act all street, but really don't you think she used to be like Whitney on A Different World? I can just see her all prim Southern belle and deciding that being all "Oh no he di'nt" would work better on TV.

Jerrell is really really thin. That is all.

Keith and Kelli got no air time at all, because apparently we got too close to them in other episodes?

And finally: Jennifer and Leanne are the same person. Leanne is Jennifer after cutting bangs and wearing braces. Seriously, don't these producers know how it screws it up when two rivals look too much the same?

Now that I've done my designer recap, let's get to the show recap. The challenge was to design an outfit for America's women athletes to wear for the Olympic Opening Ceremony. Of course, the winner won't really get to see that happen, it's just a convenient cross-promotion. Apolo Ohno this week's guest judge, now apparently has a reality show addiction as strong as Blayne's tanning addiction. I was so hoping they'd show him doing the Quick-step, not just speed skating around a rink :(

Seeing all the designers' work in process signaled pretty early that many of them had not. a. clue. Come on, people, have you not watched an Olympics? Those athletes don't walk around the track with the pouty strut of a runway model, they take to the track with a jaunty swagger that says "I could kick your ass!"

Anyway, here were the (mostly) disastrous results:

1. Korto kicked off with a somewhat futuristic looking outfit consisting of wide-legged white pants, a white tank top and a sleeveless open jacket with red, white and blue striped shoulders. Frankly, I didn't love it. I didn't think all that white would be completely flattering, especially since many Olympians are more muscle-bound than the average bear. It didn't scream athletic to me. I could see it on the runway (unlike a lot of this week's failures) but I could really see it on the track.

2. Suede followed with a completely ridiculous 2-piece outfit: A huge pouffy blue skirt with stripes around the bottom hem, and a plain white sleeveless turtleneck. Totally ridonkulous.

3. Kelli's outfit looked like how Holly Hobbie or Raggedy Ann would dress if she got a flight attendant's job. It was really quite bad. There was a navy skirt with white tim, and a red polka dot blouse with a big bow. Hideous. Totally Bottom 3 material, in my opinion, but then I might be saying that a lot in this recap.

4. Joe's outfit was the only outfit that was appropriate in my opinion. It was quite literally sportswear, and in a good way. There was a zip jacket with a cool zipper effect (he took apart one red and one blue zipper and matched one side from each together.) There was a sporty skort that was flattering and had some nice asymmetrical stripes to avoid being too literal. And the sleeves also had slightly angles stripes. I could imagine this outfit working very very well. And this is one time where I don't think being literal should count against him!

5. Leanne's wasn't bad. She had white shorts and a while sleeveless tunic with buttons at the very wide waistband. The stand-up collar was red, white and blue, but not in a cheesy way. I probably would have put this in the top 3 myself.

6. Daniel's was an abomination. It was a purply blue sheath dress with a red waistband...and then some very unfortunately places red striping on the skirt that looked like a runway to her crotch, where red buttons were places in a patter than made it look like a six-spot domino was emerging from said crotch. Really. It was crass. And totally inappropriate.

7. Jerrell's outfit was more musical theatre than athlete. There were the leggings. Then there was the navy striped pencil skirt. Then there was a puffy short-sleeved blouse with a big bow (what was it about the Olympics that screamed "Big Bow" to some of these designers?) Then, to top it all off, literally, there was a big ol' plantation hat. Can I use ridonkulous twice? because this was.

8. Stella's outfit looked about the same as last week's outfit for the nigh on the town challenge. If all our Olympians are skank hos than this should have won the day. Otherwise? I'm not really feeling the black satin cropped pants and black zip vest with leathah capped sleeves...with the exposed belly button and plunging neckline to boot. They're keeping her for comic effect at this point, right?

9. Keith produced a really short bubble skirt with a white vest, stand-up collar and blue and red scarves. Didn't look athletic at all. Wasn't really creative at all.

10. Terri's outfit had a lot of pieces: White pants, a navy striped jacket, a red, white and blue tube corset, some kind of gold tank that was mostly hidden by a big frouffy red stripey ascot thing. It was actually a nice outfit, less flight attendant, less bad cocktail dress than many of the others. Still not sure it screamed Olympics to me, but we were taking what we could get at this point.

11. Jennifer. Oh my. This evening wear featured a gold striped full skirt, a white top and a navy bolero with jeweled ornamentation across the neckline. And it still managed to be totally boring.

12. Blayne's outfit looked more Bond Girl than Olympian, but it wasn't as horrific as I expected. White cropped pants were paired with a one-shouldered white jacket with what looked like those ribbons the rhythmic gymnasts use sewn on. Could almost pass for athletic.

13. Kenley's outfit was yet the third ridonkulous outfit of the evening. A blue plaid high-waisted skirt with a wide belt and a white top. Cute little outfit for bettie page to wear. No Olympic inspiration in sight.

Although there were so many chices for the Bottom 3 and not enough for the Top, they managed to extract out the following:

Top 3:
Terri's smart suit
Korto's space age pant suit
Joe's outfit that looked like it could really be used for the task at hand

Bottom 3:
Daniel's atrocious button-crotch disaster
Jerrell's ridonkulous Southrn belle athlete
Jennifer's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Korto took the win, with which I did NOT agree.
Jennifer was auf'ed, with which I DID agree.

And what did you think?

Comments

 

Buh-bye Jennifer!

Thank gawd the judges finally auf'ed Jennifer. Aside from the fact that her designs were frumpy and ill-executed, I just got sick of hearing her referring to her own style as surreal. Detachment from reality does not surrealism make.

 

so much wrong

There was so much wrong here, I don't know where to begin. And darn, Hedonia beat me to the punch - when I heard Jennifer's final comment about how no one gets her sense of "surrealism" I thought that alone was good reason for her dismissal! What on earth is surreal about her work?! Her losing outfit was simply lifted from an Anthroplogie catalogue. Surreal? I don't think so. The winning outfit was okay but just okay. And since the judges gave Jennifer such a hard time about the inability to separate her personal taste from the challenges, I'm surprised that Kenley and Stella weren't called out - again so much wrong....

 

Best. Show. Ever.

I am so excited the new season has started and just as excited to see a recap discussion here! So far, this crew really doesn't blow me away with talent. Not a Christian in the bunch. But I do have one reeeally important thing to reiderate....

LEATHAH. 

Caroline

http://morningsidemom.wordpress.com/

 

I thought nothing could top

I thought nothing could top last weeks "Del Boca Vista" lawn chair cover dress.  I thought this season couldn't get worse.  It did- color-blind and tasteless ahhhh!

New National colors gold? purple? and my fave black leathah.

Susan knows talkin' in third person is losin' steam but Susan is brinigng it back in fashion!  Susan is cool like that.

~Susan                                                                                                                   

http://lilmomthatcould.com/

 

Holla at cha boy!

That was the down turn of the season.

Blayne needs to be put into tanning rehab and given a haircut for his sheepdog look.

Slade, what can I say about Slade that he hasn't already said about himself?

I could go on and on about all of them but they are all pretty ridonkulous!

I kept trying to put those long lean looks on short squat gymnasts.  NOT!

Project Runway better step it up and Make It Work!

 

I'd watch paint dry if Tim Gunn was in it

 I'd watch paint dry if Tim Gunn was the host.   Suede always refers to himself in the third person makes me cringe but at least he stands out.  This group does not have the "wow" of other seasons for me but it's still early.  Heidi, Michael Kors and Nina are the best part of the show this year.  And of course, T-I-M.  Tim Gunn rules.

White Trash Mom
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This time, it's the designers who were
delusional...

Dahlings -

Here I'd thought the judges had a collective aneurysm when they picked Suede's pizza dress as the winner an episode or two ago.  But tonight, the designers were the ones who were living in another world!

As I wrote in my own blog, Jennifer sent Olympic Barbie down the runway, and it was Goodbye, Dali!  I only noticed her existence in the previous episode.  Perhaps because I was far too annoyed by the hellish trio of Suede, Blayne and Stella.  Skin Cancer Boy got Tim to say "Holla" in THIS episode, for which he should be severely punished.  (SCB, not Tim--Tim should never be punished.  He is a god on earth, however I believe he was thinking dirty thoughts when he was standing next to Apolo Ohno.)

What WAS going on in that workroom?  Had anyone besides Joe actually seen any sports?  Can you IMAGINE a parade of women in Jerrell's pouffy, puffy nightmare marching across the Olympic field last night?  (Although between you and moi, Ralph Lauren's design was dull, dull, dull.)

 Spot-on reporting, my dear.  I only wish I could figure out a way to get more than one tag other than "Entertainment" at the top.  Ciao!

Elisa

http://diaryofamadfashionista.blogspot.com

 

Oh yes, RL deadly dull

Yes, watched the Opening Ceremony last night. Wha a snooze-fest the RL outfit for our team was.

Coudn't agree more.

Plus they all looked like they were dying of heat. Why have everyone wear hats....it just traps your body heat and makes you roast.

Elisa Camahort Page
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Watching the Parade of Athletes . . .

I couldn't help but think back on the PR episode - think how Nina and Michael would have fried the contestants if they had marched out what most of the athletes were actually wearing! 

What an impossible task - trying to make all of them look presentable. Let's face it, what works on a 90 lb gymnast may not be terribly flattering to the 200 lb shot putter!  I saw at least one example of that - a very zaftig athlete in a tight, sleeveless frock and I couldn't help but ache for her.  Here was what was probably a once in a lifetime event, her moment in the spotlight, and she was forced to wear an ill-fitting and embarassingly unattractive outfit.

My favorites were the teams who wore the traditional garb of their homelands. 

Janet

www.liveswithcorgi.blogspot.com

 

 

I was thinking the exact same thing Janet!

And yes, terribly hard task. I agree that the "uniforms" from many of the nations from Africa and the Pacific Islands were the most beautiful and interesting...and looked the same on every kind of athlete :)

Elisa Camahort Page
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