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I’m a big believer in having goals, doing things that challenge us, and trying new things. What I don’t like is waiting for a particular date, like making resolutions on January 1st, before I get started. All the major things I’ve done in my life were due to making a decision and going from there -- not because it was a Monday, or the first day of a month, or a milestone day like a birthday.

by
susan mernit at 2:17pm Sun, 28 Dec 2008 under
Mommy & Family,
Sex & Relationships,
Single,
dating,
love,
advice,
Self-help,
sex & relationships,
resolutions,
GLBT,
Midlife,
Do it Better,
Love; 712 views
As we all know, January is not only the month where people make (and break) resolutions, it’s the month when people resolve to fix everything that went wrong over the holidays.
I've heard that online dating sites experience a big increase in enrollments in January. This doesn't surprise me -- over the course of just a few days, two of my female friends made a reference to 2009 being "the year." As in, the year they will find love. January is seen as a good time for life changes, for new beginnings, for things we want to improve about ourselves. It’s the same with dating.
I have a number of really good friends who are males. I’ve known some of them for years (even if I don’t see them very often in person anymore), I met a few of them over the internet (I’ve seen them in person once or twice, but most of our contact is via blogs and email), and there are several guys that I hang out with on a regular basis. I don’t want to date any of these men; I place a huge value on their friendship and my life is better because they’re a part of it.
Winter holidays not only raise questions about our diets and our pocketbooks, they beg the question about our socialability and popularity compared to others, and about the degree of love we have in our lives, often with dire results. For over-40 single people who may not have a great love in our lives, who may be juggling family responsibilities against a desire for fun, and who are regretfully all too aware that bare little black dress is going to highlight the crepe-y, wrinkled flesh on our upper arms, holidays can be a nightmare.

by
lauriewrites at 11:45pm Sun, 14 Dec 2008 under
Life,
Mommy & Family,
Single,
travel,
family,
Single,
thanksgiving,
holidays,
christmas,
traditions,
Holiday Survival Guide '08; 1005 views
I struggle with the holidays some, I admit it.
In July of 2007, I attended the BlogHer conference in Chicago. While I enjoyed the conference itself (and met a lot of very cool ladies), I didn't have a very good time overall. You see, I was preoccupied -- and when a person’s thoughts are a thousand miles away, it's hard to concentrate on the awesome time you’re supposed to be having.
One would think that being over 40 would mean having your new partner meet the family is something you could avoid, right? After all, doesn’t being a so-called mature adult, having kids old enough to drive, and having a civil relationship with your ex and his new wife mean you don’t have to manage family/new partner meet-ups? Ever?Apparently not.Bottom line is family is family and if they are at all close with you, they are going to have an opinion about who you are dating. And want to share it. As they will.
I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. Reasons for this phenomenon include such things as: not wanting to buy an expensive gift for someone you’re not really “into” anymore; not wanting to spend the holiday around his/her family; and wanting to start a new year with a clean relationship slate. The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.
What do people know about you online? What do they know about your personal life, your sexual preferences, the little things that make you go weak in the knees?How do others understand how you perceive yourself? How comfortable you are with your own sexuality? With your relationship life choices? With the people you live with and/or date?
I try not to apologize unless I've done something where the words “I’m sorry” are warranted. Some people assume that over-apologizing is a female trait, but I've gone out with at least two guys now who apologized so often that it became confusing. I asked one guy if he had a favorite football team, and his response was, “No, I don’t watch football. I’m sorry.” Why would someone apologize for not liking football? Even if I were a huge fan (which I’m not), I wouldn’t care if another person had an opposite preference.
The only major end-of-year holiday (I’m including both Thanksgiving and Christmas) that I haven’t spent with at least one family member was Christmas 2004. I was at the tail end of spending a semester abroad in Amsterdam and I had a ticket to fly back to the States a few days later. I spent most of that day walking around the city, and I saw a musical performance at a beautiful church in Dam Square. It was nice, but I’d been there for five months by that time and I was ready to go home.